The idea for this website/blog is for us to have a place to contribute and work togeather on a project, a blog, with a focus on something we all have in common: How it is moving and setting in a new country as a foreign woman.

We are such an amazing and diverse group! We have so much in common yet so much to share.

I hope we can create something beautiful here, I encourage everyone to write in whatever language suits them best. We are multicultural and multilingual.

If you want to contribute please let me know on Facebook or send me an email at

Winter Activities

Below is the exciting new winter schedule for Heimskonur! We hope you will join us at any of the sessions. The monthly meetings remain the same, at the library between 12 noon and 2 pm on the first Saturday of the month, but there are a few extra bonus activities that, starting with Yoga this coming Saturday.

Everyone is welcome, whether you attend regularly or not. Don’t be shy!

Date Activity Time Location
Saturday, 23 September Yoga with Anna Margret 11.00 am – 12 noon Om Setrið, Hafnargata 57 Reykjanesbær
Saturday, 7 October Drinking coffee and planning world domination (Monthly meeting) 12 noon  – 2.00 pm Ráðhúskaffi, Tjarnargata 12 Reykjanesbær
Saturday,      28 October Heimskonur do Self Defence 101 10.00 am – 11.00 am Iðavellir 12, Reykjanesbær
Saturday, 4 November Coffee and collecting donations for Konukot  (Monthly meeting) 12 noon – 2.00 pm Ráðhúskaffi, Tjarnargata 12 Reykjanesbær
Saturday, 18 November Annual Festive Baking Exchange 12 noon – 2.00 pm Location to be confirmed
Saturday, 2 December Drinking coffee and planning world domination (Monthly meeting) 12 noon – 2.00 pm Ráðhúskaffi, Tjarnargata 12 Reykjanesbær


Culture Shock

While reading through my old blog I found a post with some great explanations on the feelings of culture shock that we have all felt. The original website I got this from doesn’t seem to be available anymore but this link was given to me in 2006, when I was new to Iceland. The link is old but the information still holds true.

I am including what I felt were the best points:

When people move from one country to another, it can be compared to a fish on dry land. As the fishes, they have been swimming in their own culture all their lives. A fish doesn’t know what water is. In the same way we do not think that much about the culture which has molded us. When we suddenly find ourselves in a new and alien environment and culture, everything becomes complicated.

Emotional strain can be unbearable for children and especially teenagers. The children meet a number of new people and they must learn new habits and a new language.
It can be difficult and painful to be without language in a strange place because the language is the key to all communication.

Many students of foreign origin become confused because of what for them appears to be a lack of discipline in Icelandic schools. Children who are used to military discipline and formal relations in school can react to freedom and informal relations with wild behavior. They have been deprived of all referential limits for behavior and they have to look for new limits. They become confused and insecure under such circumstances.

The informal freedom that characterizes the Icelandic schools can be hard to handle, perhaps the most difficult aspects for all, students, parents, and teacher. If cooperation between the adults and the students is not achieved on this stage, it can have negative influence on the studies in the long run.
Simple habits in Icelandic schools can also be difficult for people.
Some children don’t know for instance why everybody is sent outside in recess, no matter how the weather is, or why everybody must take off the shoes. In fact, many Asian peoples are used to that custom.

Five stages of culture shock
Culture shock is divided into five stages. Each stage can be long standing or appears only under certain conditions. It is important to realize that culture shock is a perfectly normal condition which affects persons differently, just as grief, shock and other pressures in life. Some people show stronger reactions than others and not all experience all the five stages of culture shock.

THE FIRST STAGE is often called the honeymoon stage. It is characterized by tension and expectations. While it is going on, people enjoy the excitement that arises from being in a new place where everything is interesting. Some people never leave this initial stage of the excitement that goes along with being abroad. They are constantly experiencing a mild ecstasy and behave like eternal tourists: travel to new and interesting places, make friends only with their fellow countrymen and retain their old way of living. For most people, however, the honeymoon passes by and they enter into the second and most difficult stage of the culture shock.

THE SECOND STAGE is the actual shock. We experience that with our students in the Reception Department. Therefore it will be discussed more thoroughly than the other stages.

It can be characterized by loss of courage and general discomfort. Changes in character occur, depression, lack of self-confidence and irritation, people become more vulnerable and prone to crying, more worried about their health, suffer from a headache, bad stomach and complain about pain and allergy. Difficulties with concentration often occur and reduce the ability to learn a new language. These factors increase the anxiety and the stress.

In the following period, the self-awareness dissolves and people have trouble with solving simple problems. Conversations on this stage are things that can not be bought, what you must get along without, and everything that the people in the new country do wrong (which means “differently”). This stage can be characterized with escape because in this period you always think of returning to the old country.

People tend to regard one’s own culture as the only way to do the things. This attitude has been called “ethnocentrism”. That is the belief that one’s own culture, race and nation is the navel of the world. Individuals identify with their own group and its habits. All critical remarks are regarded as a provocation to the individual just as the group. “If you criticize me, you are criticizing my country, if you criticize my country, you are criticizing me.”

Therefore people often show hostile and aggressive resistance against the host country on the second stage of the culture shock. This hostility comes from natural difficulties that a family or individuals run into in the adjustment process. “I feel terrible in the new country, there must be something terribly wrong here”!!!

There are problems in school, difficulties with language, trouble with lodging and employment as well as the fact that the people in the host country just don’t care about these problems or don’t seem to understand them. The result is aggressiveness and discomfort because the people don’t seem like foreigners at all.

In the beginning, people are often well received, but when time passes and the novelty disappears, the attitude often turns into indifference or dislike which immigrants experience as hostility. Thus aggressive hostility can escalate on both sides.

Instead of regarding the difficulties in a cultural context, people speak about these problems as if they were specially invented by the host country, in order to get the visitor into a trouble. Under such circumstances, circulating stereotypes emerge, which can lead to collisions if people don’t practice tolerance. “These Icelanders”, or “these immigrants” are so and so…….!

THE THIRD STAGE of culture shock is characterized with one’s plunging into new ways of living. With patience, it is possible to reach this stage by the end of the first year.
THE FOURTH STAGE is the final stage of the assimilation, characterized with full participation in the way of life in the new country. People seldom think of “them” and “us”. They have assimilated to life, regarding both emotions and general activities and life just as easy as before moving.
THE FIFTH STAGE: Long after people have moved back to the homeland, something unexpected happens. They experience the fifth stage of the culture shock. It is called a reverse culture shock or returning shock, and appears after the return home again. The homeland is not comfortable anymore because people have been away from home for a long time and have become comfortable with customs and habits belonging to a new lifestyle. Much has changed and it takes some time to get used to way of life, gestures and symbols of one’s own culture.

Laundry issues

I am from Canada and in Canada, we have huge washer and dryers. You can stuff a good 10 kilos of laundry in the washer, it takes about half an hour to wash, then throw those 10 kilos of laundry in the dryer and everything is dry in an hour.

This was laundry as I knew it until I moved to Iceland.

Our first apartment had a little washing machine that could only handle half of the laundry I expected it to. About 5 kilos. Then it took 3 hours to wash. I don’t know what it was doing for there for 3 hours but I didn’t think my clothing was that dirty.  Little did I know.

Then the drying. I guess it is better to hang everything up. I hear that is better. In theory. The only problems are that my apartment was tiny so there was no room to set up a drying rack and outside it was always raining.

The combination of long washing times and no dryer made laundry a 24-hour nightmare for me, once a week because our building shared the washing machine and I only had access to it one day a week.

I was setting my alarm to go off every three and a half hours so I could start the washer again. This started at midnight the day before my laundry day and didn’t stop until midnight on my laundry day.

Wet clothing was hung on everything from chairs to kitchen counters and needed to be rotated onto the radiator as space permitted.

This routine made me question the move. It also made me much more accepting of clothing that was not 100% clean.

After 11 years I have a house and have insisted on a North American size washer and dryer, so life is a little more manageable for me now but I still have an intense admiration for anyone that is in this situation.

The joys of mopping 


I moved to Iceland almost 11 years ago. It took me 8 of those years to find a mop I knew how to use.

In Canada I had a mop and bucket like the one pictures. When I moved here I learned that they don’t use those here.

But the mop and pail isn’t really the main point here. The main point is more along the lines of how something you took for granted in your home country can be a real joy in your new country.

Even mopping.

Now mopping is a happy time that reminds me of the simpler times. When I understood everything going on around me. When I didn’t have such a hard time expressing myself (in a second language) and when i didn’t have to touch the mop while mopping the floor.

I am now happy in Iceland with my Canadian mop.

As evidence to the joy this purchase have me (and others in the same position), you should check out the facebook post from the day I bought it. In away from home group.

The joys of learning past tense

When I was preparing for my exam in Icelandic 3, with a “Focus is on the spoken language use in the daily life” in evening at MSS I spent a lot of time practicing the past tense for strong verbs.

At this moment I was trying to memorize the vowel changes in the first group of strong verbs.

Strong verbs in the first group include words like:

bíða - wait;            bíta - bite;            drífa - drive;
gína - gape;            grípa - grasp;          hníga - fall gently;
hrífa - catch hold;     hrína - squeal;         hvína - whistle, whine;
klífa - climb;          klípa - pinch;          kvíða - dread;
líða - elapse;          líta - look;            ríða - ride;
rífa - tear;            rísa - rise;            síga - sink;
skína - shine;          skríða - creep;         slíta - break;
sníða - cut;            stíga - step;           svíða - singe, smart;
svífa - soar;           svíkja - deceive;       víkja - yield;
þrífa - grasp, snatch; clean.

Since the vowel changes are the same all you really need to learn if a few of the words and apply the same changes to the others.

So there I am sitting in the living room, chanting out words in Icelandic. These words:

Þrífa  – Þreif – ríða – reið – þrífa – þreif – ríða – reið

Then I look over and see an absolutely horrified look on my children’s faces. I asked them if they were OK and they asked me to never, never, say that again. I didn’t really get it. I am not so cleaver in that way. I asked why, but they would not answer me.

I asked my husband, who laughed. It is such a good feeling to know I provide so much amusement to the who family.

So I know þrífa means clean and ríða means ride – but not like a bicycle or a horse…

So now I know that I must never say that work again, at least not chanting my way through the different forms of the verb in each person.

A small fail

When I first moved to Iceland we lived in downtown Reykjavik making it convenient for me to attend the the Technical College to learn Icelandic. I can not find any information on the Icelandic classes there now, so maybe they don’t offer them anymore. This is probably for the best since I didn’t learn a lot of Icelandic there.

Anyways, I was 25 years old and back in high school to learn Icelandic. Being nearly 10 years older then everyone else in the school was bad enough but when combined with the cultural differences, this was basically a nightmare.

I couldn’t understand why everyone had yellow hair and very dark eyebrows. I was confused by how leggings were considered pants and I wondered what time these girls were waking up every morning to manage to have so much make up on before 8.

But I tried to fit in. So when everyone was standing outside between classes smoking cigarettes, I went with them (granted this was 11 years ago and these days they are probably all vaping).

One day there was a little wind, shocking I know, and when I went to light my cigarette the wind blew at the exact perfect moment that I ended up setting my hair on fire.

No joke.

I saw the fire in the corner of my eye, then I saw everyone pointing. it started to get a little hot and the smell was terrible. Luckily this only lasted a second until I felt someone slapping the side of my head to get the fire out. Turned out to be some nice guy from my class.

But the damage was done. Everyone saw my flaming hair and the smell just wouldn’t go away.

I tried to play it cool, pulled my hood up and tried to pretend nothing happened when we went back into class but the smell gave it away.

I sat at my desk and everyone around me started whispering. The smell was nearly suffocating me. I thought I would die.

I am sure your not surprised to hear I left class early that day and went home to try to fix what I could of my hair. I ended up needing a haircut since all the hair on one side was destroyed. Just my luck.

11 years later I ma still working on my fitting in skills, but at least I haven’t set my hair on fire recently. Things are starting to look up.


Var það eitthvað fleira?

When I first moved to Iceland I lived in a little apartement on Rauðarástig in Reykjavík. Across the street was a little shop that sold milk, candy and apparently ritalin which got them raided and shut down by the police a few years later, but this detail doesnt matter for this story.

My purchases from this store were all completly legal.  When ever I went to the counter the guy working as a casheir always asked: Eitthvað fleira?

He might have said the whole sentance “Var það eitthvað fleira?” and was mumbling the first half of the sentance, but who knows.

Being a new comer to Iceland I had some interest in learning the language so I asked, what “Eitthvað fleira” meant. He replied “Is that all?”.

This turned out to be my worst Icelandic lesson ever .

Years went by and everytime I went to the store and the casheir asked: “Eitthvað fleira?” I said “Já” or “Yes” and they stood there staring at me. Waiting for me to say something else.

Turned out “Var það eitthvað fleira?” actually means “Anything else?”. “Anything else” is not the same as “Is that all”.

So everytime I was in a store and the casheir asked: “Anything else?” I said “Yes” and they waited for me to add to my order or say something else.

This generally resulted in a staredown for a few secounds, then they would shake their head and finish the transaction.

Good times, good times.